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You blooming matter!

If you’re like me, you spend most of your time going around watering the many ‘flowers’ in your garden and making them grow. These flowers can be your children and family members, work and charities.

But you need water and sunshine too. Don’t you deserve to grow, flourish and flower too?

Why is self-care important?

When I look after myself and feel good, I feel refreshed, energised and happy. Then, I’m better in all aspects of my life. I can be a better mother, a better employee, a better student, and a better friend.

And just better for me! My attitude and view of life is markedly improved, and I’m more pleasant to be around. I bloom.

Why is self-care important?

Self-care is important because I AM important. I matter too. Especially as a single mother, I spend most of my time looking after everyone else. It can be easy to become resentful.

I only live with my kids and I love them, but to be honest - like all kids, they can be a little selfish. The only person who is going to look after me or do anything nice for me is me. And if I’m not taken care of, I wilt.

What kind of self-care?

For special days like Mother’s Day and my birthday, I go out and buy myself a present and take myself out for a meal.

Two things I regularly do are get my eyelashes and nails done.

I buy myself flowers when I get my groceries. It’s only about $15 but it makes me feel special. I have had friends or colleagues see the flowers and ask who my secret admirer is. I answer, “I admire myself!” and “I’m not going to mope around all sad, waiting for someone to buy me flowers. If I want them, I get them myself.” It always gets a laugh. But surprisingly, a couple of married friends of mine tell me they should do the same, as their husbands don’t get them flowers. That makes me sad.

I also make sure I meet up with a friend or friends to do something fun like a Park Run, then go for breakfast afterwards. Or we go to see a show, then go for dinner or drinks afterwards.

Getting outside also makes me happy. I put my headphones on and listen to a podcast or music and take my dog for a walk. Making myself a cup of tea and sitting outside in the sunshine is lovely.

When to fit it in?

I schedule having my nails done or my time with friends for the weekends when my children are with their father. Even if it’s just one afternoon, I make sure that time is for me.

But some things, like having a cup of tea or going for a walk, I can do most days.

Just like flowers, we need attention every day!


Blogging GEMS program

This Blog is a part of the Blogging GEMS program, which supports domestic violence survivors to practise the self-care strategies of Gratitude, Exercise, Mindfulness, Support, and Service (GEMS). As they practise the strategies, they blog about can read their survivor GEMS Blogs below and you could join the Blogging STARS:

Gratitude Blogs:

Exercise Blogs

Mindfulness Meditation Blogs:

Service Blogs

Support Blogs

Self-care plans

  • more blogs coming soon

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