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Relieving DV stresses through Tapping or Time Out.

Starting the tapping activity for this blog, was a reminder of when I used this method years ago. Positioning myself for Tapping immediately sent my mind spiralling into one of the darkest, saddest times of my life, and my body followed, making me feel nauseous.

It wasn’t the therapy of Tapping, it was the triggering memory of my nervous breakdown when I had tried to use Tapping methods. My mind was so shattered at that time. It stressed me, having to think of how to tap-think-relax-breathe and cry.

No! Crying was not meant to be part of it, but that’s where I ended up each time, as I felt so hopeless at that time of my life.

While this is my own experience, I have chosen not to revisit or try to push through with Tapping for my own care moving forward. Instead, I decided to try some different ways to remain,

Still, Restful and at Peace for the same amount of time.

Stop, be still:

As soon as I woke up, I just lay still. I took a deep breath in while counting to 4 in my mind, then I held that breath for 2 counts, then I exhaled for 6 counts. I did this 3 times.

Then I just stayed still and let my body fully relax. You can also do this sitting, standing, walking or anywhere.


  • Stop when you need to and take a deep breath.

  • Relax your shoulders or any other tense areas.


I listened. I heard crows in the distance, a plane flying over, trucks driving on a main road, a magpie singing a beautiful morning song, a loud helicopter and so many tweets from various birds.

Out of all the noises, I loved hearing the magpie singing.

Eventually there were so many sounds all seemingly trying to make noise and outdo each other, but I focused on the magpie.

I put my hands over my ears to have silence and I started concentrating on steady slow breaths in and out.

There are also many interesting sounds that you can listen to on the internet, like rainforest sounds, birds, water sounds or whatever you find relaxing.


  • Listen and focus in on surrounding sounds or choose what you want to hear.

  • Still your mind and briefly look at or imagine something that is pleasant for you (flower, photo, listen to a favourite song).


I stretched my body fully out and realised I hadn’t done that in such a long time, and how amazing it felt to do something so simple, yet so effective.


  • Stretch, and enjoy that release of tension.

  • Move your body, even if that means just standing up for a moment or taking a walk around the room or outside.

This was such a reminder to me that I could do this basically anywhere, that it wasn’t a long process, and that it had instant results.


Blogging STARS program

This Blog is a part of the Broken to Brilliant Blogging STARS self-care program, which supports domestic violence survivors to practise the self-care strategies of Sleep, Tapping, Activity, Regulation and Support, (STARS). As they practise the strategies, they blog about it. You can read their survivor STARS Blogs:





  • coming soon


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