Introducing one of the 10 authors from the book Broken to Brilliant - breaking free to be you after domestic violence, 10 stories of strength and success' – Anonymous Chapter 8
Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their story and using their real identity. We respect this need for anonymity. Despite whether a person is sharing their story anonymously or not, the process of putting words to the page is daunting and unearths buried pain, then sharing this rawness with the world is nerve wrecking.
In the book Broken to Brilliant, we are very fortunate that women have been brave and despite their fears and concerns, they have shared their stories to help others.
Studies have shown that there is a commonly held belief and assumption that asking about abuse is upsetting, harmful, and stigmatising [Edwards 2007]. Often people think survivors are not emotionally stable enough to assess risk or seek help. Survivors are usually grateful to know that others care about these issues [Edwards 2007] and will happily share their story, as this strong woman has done.
This anonymous passionate, persistent and hardworking author tells why she has shared her story in Broken to Brilliant Breaking free to be You following domestic violence. Her story will help you to understand, that domestic violence comes in all forms. You may even begin to recognise hidden abuse in your own life and it will give you hope that you can love again.
“I began to learn more about myself through personal development, I began to realise that even though my partner at the time was never physically abusive, the years I had spent with him allowing his emotional and mental abuse to consume me had negatively impacted on my own self-worth and confidence. Years after our relationship had ended the impact of our relationship were still evident with the poor choices I had been making and the fear of allowing anyone to love me again. Once I realised that I had in fact been in an abusive relationship, even though it was not violent, I knew I wanted to share my story to help other woman in my position. To help them understand that an abusive relationship isn't just one where there are visible signs of bruising or other physical injuries, but the emotional and mental bruises can be far worse.
By telling my story and fully accepting my past relationship for what it was has allowed me to forgive myself and make peace with the relationship, enabling me to move forward and take positive steps for my future and my wonderful partner I have now in my life.
My hope is that my story will help other woman in emotionally and mentally abusive relationships realise that even though their partner may not be physically hurting them, that the emotional and mental abuse can be far worse. I hope sharing my story gives these women the strength and courage to make a better choice for themselves and their family”.
Valerie J. Edwards, 2007. It's OK to ask about past abuse, American Psychologist 62(4):327-8; discussion 330-2 · May 2007: DOI: 10.1037/0003-066X62.4.327)
